Terminal Disease
by Adreus
Summary: You know that crushes never go away? —Johan/Judai, Amethyst Cat.


**Notes:** Uhhh I dunno maybe I'll rewrite this when I feel like I have some sort of writing skill.

_Yu-Gi-Oh! GX_ is property of Kazuki Takahashi; I do not claim any rights.

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><p><em>Terminal Disease<em>

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><p>By the time they leave the theater, it's snowing outside and the blanket is so thick and the precipitation so heavy that it's really no condition for them to walk back to Johan's flat. Instead they enter the mall proper, and neither Johan nor Judai has a jacket, and Johan's hands are freezing so he's the one who brings up the idea of going to the café at the other end of the mall to warm themselves up while they wait for a storm to subside, and Judai smiles and nods.<p>

They choose a table with seats against a wall for Johan and two chairs across it for Judai, and when someone asks to borrow the second chair, Johan says it's taken. Johan has hot chocolate and Judai has a white version of the same, and he also orders a seasonal pumpkin drink, which to the naked eye looks like it's been bought just to sit there, but Johan can see Yubel eagerly devouring the contents. They talk about the movie they saw, and how stupid it was - Yubel has quite a bit to say about the leading lady's intelligence - and whenever there's some stupid silence, it's broken by Judai and Johan cracking up for no other reason but because there's silence, and that, somehow, is hilarious. Yubel is quizzical, but she's so distracted by the tastiness of her drink that she doesn't have anything to quip and resigns to finish it quietly, leaving Johan and Judai to their conversation mostly undisturbed. It's been years since they've done anything together properly, and since that's been saddening Judai for some time, she doesn't want to dampen his spirits.

She can't say the same for Johan, who's been acting strangely since they left the theater. His suspicious actions are subtle, so Judai doesn't catch them, but Yubel notices every time Johan averts his gaze, fails to control his laughter properly, gets lost in Judai's eyes in the middle of saying something. The way Johan's face fell when, back in the theater, their hands brushed each other for only a moment over the bucket of popcorn on the chair between them. How quickly Johan had drawn his arm away, and how distracted he'd been for minutes after.

Presently, Judai finishes his drink and looks at Yubel warmly. "You want more?" he asks, glancing pointedly at her drink. She nods. "Alright, I'll go get some for both of us." He turns to Johan. "You, Johan?"

Johan shakes his head. "No, thanks. I'm not even halfway through this," he says, motioning toward his cup. Judai shrugs and, pulling out his wallet, goes up to the counter for a second time. Yubel protectively follows.

Johan, alone for the first time in hours, sighs. He pulls the saucer out from underneath his cup and pours some hot chocolate into it; beside him, Amethyst Cat appears to taste it.

"I think it's nice when Judai's around," Amethyst says between happy licks. "Even seeing _her _isn't so awful if we can take these tangible forms around you."

At that, Johan smiles, and pets her fur affectionately. "Yeah." She purrs contentedly in response, but after a moment notices that Johan isn't even looking at her; his eyes are trailing on Judai's figure, waiting impatiently in the long line.

"'He's amazing, isn't he?'" Amethyst speaks, in what she believes to be Johan's thoughts. He looks down at her, startled - it's not like her to compliment Judai or his powers; it's not like any of the Gem Beasts, because as much as they admire Judai's abilities, they still can not forgive their source for what she did. "That's what you're thinking," she clarifies.

Johan smiles again, but there's a bitterness in his expression that seeps into his voice when he next speaks. Absentmindedly, he takes a spoon on the table and stirs his hot chocolate (it's a shame that he doesn't have the appetite to drink it, because it's getting cold). "Did you know that crushes never go away?" he asks quietly, and there's a nostalgia in the way he speaks that reminds her of an island that smelled of sea salt and fried shrimp.

Amethyst tilts her head. "No?"

In line, Yubel says something rude about the person at the front of the queue, arguing angrily with the nervous new employee running the register, and Judai chuckles and ugh what the hell who decided that Yuki Judai could be the prettiest man on earth?

"I don't think so," Johan confirms as his stomach does ridiculous turns and twists, and it's stupid because he's in his twenties and twenty-year-olds shouldn't feel like they're fourteen. "Because, you remember, I'd never had a crush before, and I remember what it feels like."

Amethyst remembers; she remembers having an urgent meeting with the other Gem Beasts when Johan'd first announced that he thought he had a problem. It wasn't really a problem, then, but it was strange; up until he'd first met Yuki Judai, Johan had never expressed interest in anyone, and it was all sorts of exciting and weird and it just felt like one of those things that called for an emergency family meeting. Amethyst remembers in particular Sapphire Pegasus's voice of utmost strength and declaration: "Well, I'm okay with it, so long as Johan is happy. But if anything happens to make Johan unhappy, I'm going to rip Yuki into ten different pieces and we'll have a feast."

(That never happened).

Johan takes a meaningless sip from his hot chocolate and pours some more for Amethyst. This time she's not so eager for drinking it, preferring to nuzzle closer to her brother in form of comfort.

"Being with him still feels the same," Johan goes on, accepting her next to him. "I thought it'd be different, now, you know? Because he has Yubel." He laughs and stands up, stretches. His eyes are brighter now, but he still seems lost, and he'll talk to her later, when there's time, when Judai's not here to make him all sorts of emotions. "Do you want anything?" he asks, smiling, because it's still a million kinds of exciting to be able to feel his family around him (and he supposes he has Yubel to thank for that). "I'm going to get something to go."

Amethyst shakes her head, as she's never had an appetite to fulfill, anyway. He shrugs and collects the cup and saucer to bring up to the dish return.

"Maybe it's just Judai," she suggests, as he's about to leave.

He pauses, thinks about it.

"Maybe it's just Judai," he agrees.


End file.
